Ship-Bender
by sunnywinterclouds
Summary: "Annabeth had seen Percy control full-sized sailing ships before with only his willpower... Ropes flew on their own - releasing the dock ties, weighing the anchor. The sails unfurled and caught in the wind." -The Mark of Athena. So, Percy can ship-bend? Wait, aren't ships TV couples? Hey, aren't he and Annabeth a ship? Percabeth, T for language and references.


**note – there is no seriousness here.**

**I just thought, it was weird that Percy could control boats and stuff, which is like ship-bending, and then I thought, what if it was **_**ship**_**-bending, that would be hilarious, and then oops this happened.**

"_Ugh_, won't Jeff and Annie just get together already?"

Annabeth rolls her eyes at him. "I swear, Percy, you are the only guy I know that practically _begs_ for make-out sessions on TV."

He looks down at her, cuddled up against him on the couch, to hit her with his best glare. It's not a very good one, mind you, because he's always found it very hard to shoot mean looks towards his girlfriend even though she has no qualms about it when the situation is reversed.

"I don't want a _make-out_ session. Like, a little kiss. And then they get together off-screen. Seriously, the chemistry is _killing _me."

"Perce, _Community_ is a sit-com. _Not_ a soap opera. I'm pretty sure _Days of Our Lives_ is on if you're up for that."

He sticks his tongue out at her and huffs down into the cushion just as Jeff and Annie exchange a small kiss on the TV. They stare at each other, and the episode ends.

Percy raises his eyebrows.

"Well," he says cheekily, giving Annabeth his most mischievous grin, "it looks like at least the writers agree with me."

She rolls her eyes.

"That doesn't mean they're gonna get together."

The preview for the next episode shows otherwise,

"Ha! They start dating off-screen. _What's up!_"

He jumps off from the couch and punches the air in victory. Annabeth tries and fails to contain an affectionate smile as she pulls him back down.

"One time you were right, Percy. One time. It will never happen again."

He sticks his lower lip out at her in a pout and snuggles his head down into her shoulder.

"We'll see."

She laughs and smoothes his hair down affectionately.

"Seaweed Brain."

… … …

"Well, they're a cute couple," he says, smiling at the two laughing passerby's and they walk near the shop window.

Annabeth glance up distractedly from the magazines she's rifling through and nods absentmindedly.

"Yeah, sure. Or they would be, if they were actually together."

He gives her a look. "How do you _know_ these things?"

She rolls her eyes as she gives up on her search, coming to stand with him as they look out the glass pane at the couple (or, apparently, _not_ couple) standing on the sidewalk, talking and drinking coffee together. They've stopped to discuss something, and the girl laughs loudly as the boy apparently says something funny.

"They just don't have that body language. No romantic gestures, hand-holding, looks, or anything. They're probably just friends."

He rolls his eyes at her.

"Like _we_ were just friends."

She gives him the death-stare.

"_No,_ like you and _Rachel_ were just friends."

He lifts his eyebrows.

"To be fair, we weren't just friends at all."

Annabeth scowls and goes back to shifting through the architecture magazines at _Barnes and Nobles. _He clucks his tongue and mutters something about _denial_ as he flips through the pages of a pre-teen romance novel, sneaking occasional glances at the so obviously made-for-each-other friends outside.

"I still wish they'd hook up."

And then, just like that, their hands are all over each other. The girl with freckles digs her fingers into the blonde guy's hair and twists as they make out right in the middle of the street. Usually, this public display of affection would sicken Percy (it still kind of does), but he's much too pleased right now to care.

He drops the book and hollers in happiness. A few people turn to glare at him, even though this is totally _not_ a library and he can be as loud as he wants, thank you very much, and Annabeth looks annoyed until he points out the window.

"Huh," she says, her eyebrows drawing together in confusion. "But… they didn't look like…"

He beams at her.

"So I was right? And you were wrong? Come on, you can say it…"

She gives him a look that says _no, no I can't_ and chooses to disregard the situation completely.

"Can you go wait at Chili's for me? I just need to buy these, and I know you hate lines… just get me my usual, okay?"

"Kay," he says, still smirking, and she pokes him in the stomach affectionately as he kisses her on the cheek goodbye.

He exits the shop, smiling, until he hears –

"Oh, God, I know you're my sister, and I'm gay, but I can't keep my _hands_ off you."

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

He whirls around, and there they are. The couple that he'd pegged. He begs, _begs_ the gods that someone else was talking, not these two, but she nods between kisses and presses herself into him.

"I know, I know, just don't talk, oh my God…"

_Oh my gods._

He wants to throw up. And then scream. And then die. And then take four showers to wash off what he is seeing.

_Oh, for the love of gods, stop. Please, boy and girl I don't know at all, stop stop stop._

And then, just like that, they shove away from each other, stumbling backwards in horror. They stare at each other, their mouths open and scream.

Judging by the looks on their faces, Percy isn't the only one who needs a couple days in the shower.

Spectators on the street turn to look their way as the both of them scream "_I have a boyfriend!_" and run as fast as they can away from each other, and Percy unblinkingly steers himself towards Chili's without actually registering a thing that just happened.

What _was_ that?

He sits himself down in a booth and doesn't say a word to Annabeth when she gets there. She had seen the event from the window, but hadn't actually heard anything, and is thoroughly intrigued by what had happened.

He just says, quietly, "No more match-making for me," and doesn't eat a thing.

… … …

"You know, the lovie-dovieness on-screen for these two is starting to get annoying."

Annabeth laughs (rather meanly, he thinks) as Jeff and Annie smooch loudly on TV.

"You're the one who wanted them to get together in the first place," she says unsympathetically as he wrinkles his nose up at the barfness currently going on.

"Yeah, but they should back off a bit. You know, be less cute. Act normal. Like we do."

She gives him a slightly less evil smile and pats him on the shoulder.

"There, there."

And they watch as Jeff and Annie decide to tone down the PDA a bit.

… … …

"Annabeth! I'm_ sorry_, okay? You know I've been stressing about school and how behind I am and –"

"I don't want to hear it!" she shouts, spinning on her heel to look him in the face. Her eyes are murderous.

"It's our _one-year-anniversary!_ How could you_ forget_ that?"

"Because! We celebrated that six months ago! On my _birthday_! How can you have _another_ one-year-anniversary after _six months?_"

"Because you were _missing_ for six months! So half of it didn't _count!_ So we've been _officially,_ _really_ going out for a year now and you _forgot!_"

"Wait, so I have to remember _both_ of them? August _and_ February? _And it was Valentine's Day four days ago!_ That's _crazy!_"

That's obviously the wrong thing to say, because she shoves him in the chest and starts to march away.

"Annabeth!" he shouts after her, willing her to come back. He scuffs at the floor with his sneaker, seriously angry at her.

_Get back here and apologize. You have no right to be mad at me, you little…_

And then, suddenly, she slumps her shoulders and stops. She turns around and has… has _apologetic_ eyes?

"You know what? You're right."

Commence coughing fit, fainting, and death.

"It's not fair to make you do all that. Especially since you're still trying to keep yourself from being held back a grade, and college applications with your record… I'm sorry."

And then a bird swoops down from Olympus to carry him away on gilded wings and gives him the power to talk to tortoises.

…No? Not happening? So this _isn't_ a dream?

Holy crap.

"Percy? Are we okay?"

He nods, slowly, his mouth still gaping wide.

She grins at him.

"Good. You know, you're right," he dies a little bit again from overwhelming unAnnabethness, "Valentine's Day _is_ really close to our technical anniversary. Maybe we could just celebrate them together?"

He nods, again, and she goes on talking as his brain suddenly puts two and two together.

Something is _so_ not right.

… … …

He knows Annabeth was joking a few weeks ago when she mentioned that he should watch _Days of Our Lives_ if he liked romance, but at one o'clock on a Monday, that's where he is. He's off because it's President's Day, and he turned down a date with Annabeth (or just an Annabeth imposter, he's still suspicious) to stay home and watch a soap opera.

He is the savior of Olympus. What's happening to his life?

He watches the screen closely as EJ and Sami talk about some kid of theirs, Johnny. There's no suggestiveness, no romance, they're not even a couple anymore. They're just talking about a kid at school who's been bullying their son and…

_Kiss,_ he thinks. _Kiss._

And they do.

Three minutes later he's muffling his screams in a pillow. "_I said kiss! I said kiss! I didn't say _that!"

… … …

He watches from the kitchen table as his Mom and step-dad fight about some trivial matter, like they always do. This time he's pretty sure it's about how Paul was _supposed_ to pick up some milk on his way home, but forgot, and now _she's_ going to have to get some tomorrow and tomorrow was _supposed_ to be her day off and all that.

They have these fights all the time. They'll stay mad at each other for maybe twenty minutes, then be totally fine by bedtime.

Except _he's_ going to make them make up sooner.

Exactly four seconds later, they're laughing and hugging and apologizing to one another.

This could be very interesting indeed.

… … …

"Percy, what are we doing here?"

He shrugs and hands her a slice of pizza, watching the couples in the park from the picnic table.

"Oh, you know. Just taking my amazing girlfriend out for lunch."

He decides to try something new.

_Tell me I'm awesome._

She laughs. "You're a dork," she says, nudging him in his side affectionately.

He frowns a bit.

_Tell me I'm awesome._

"Seriously, though, what are we doing here?"

"What? We just can't just go to the park and eat like a normal couple?" _Tell me I'm awesome._

"Well, yeah, but you've been acting all weird since we got here. Like you're doing business or something." _Tell me I'm awesome._

"I'm just a bit distracted," he says, crinkling his eyebrows together as he tries again. _Tell me I'm awesome._

"About what?"

He sighs. Apparently, ship-bending had its limits.

"Just stuff."

Maybe if he rewords it…? _Express to me how awesome you think I am._

"Well, don't worry about it. You're awesome." She kicks lightly at his foot with her own.

He grins widely.

Perhaps he has found a way to manipulate this.

… … …

Is he still in a relationship?

Seriously. He tries not to control what Annabeth does, he really tries, but when she gets mad at him what is he _supposed_ to do? Not interfere? He can't help but will her to forgive him, and she always_ always_ does, which is good because he misses her when she's not speaking to him but bad because isn't that somehow _cheating_ and making her less-Annabeth?

He's starting to seriously hate this whole ship-bending thing.

… … …

Oh, crap, is that Hermes?

Oh, crap, is he flirting with that girl?

Oh, crap, in twelve years is there going to be a new half-blood at camp and he's witnessing the start of it?

Oh, crap.

He probably can't ship-bend a god, but the girl is perfectly subjective.

_Be repulsed._

_Think he's gross._

_Express to him just how gross you think he is._

_Walk away._

_Bye-bye._

Hermes turns to glare at him, and he runs away in the other direction.

… … …

"That's it! This was funny at first, but now it's interfering with _my_ life. We've got to take it back."

Aphrodite scowls at him.

"_HBOlympus_'s ratings have never been higher! People love it! What's better than a half-blood teenager with the power to control people's actions regarding love?"

"Well, for one thing, he's calling it ship-bending. _Ship-bending._ And he's doing _your_ dirty work."

Aphrodite pouted. "But what about _HBOlympus?_ He's the star! The show is the only reason people still watch!"

Hermes shrugs. "Find a new candidate. Maybe someone a little more responsible."

She purses her lips, then smiles.

… … …

"You know what? Screw the chemistry. I wish they'd just break up."

Annabeth raises her eyebrows at him.

He stares at the TV.

And stares.

And stares.

And then grins.

"_I wish they'd just break up!_"he says again, louder this time, but Jeff and Annie are too busy flirting to take notice.

He pounds his fists into the air and does a little Charlie Brown jig.

"_What _are you _doing?_"

He turns his smile on her. "I want them to break up."

"So…?"

"They didn't."

"So…?"

He giggles (rather girlily) and dances around.

"You're weird."

She turns her attention back to the TV, scowling at the affection.

"You're right though. That's disgusting. I wish they _would_ break up. Nastily."

A shouting match ensues on-screen. A lamp is thrown. CDs are smashed. Percy turns away from the action there and stares at her in horror.

"_Gottagobye!_" he shouts and he's gone within the next thirty seconds.

Annabeth stares at the door for a moment, then shrugs and changes the channel.

"Ugh. Bones and Booth? That _so_ doesn't work…"

**I seriously wonder if people are doing this to my ships. I NEED SOMEONE TO MAUL. **


End file.
